Breaking down the “long-term, distance, low-commitment, casual girlfriend”

If you flinched during this scene of the Barbie movie, this one’s for you.

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Joan Buitendijk ┃ Warner Bros. Pictures

Girl Chat 💖

Curated for you ⋆｡♬ Sabrina Carpenter, you are so good at writing songs about situationships!

Before the Barbies sent the Kens into a battle/musical number, Barbie goes to Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House and tells him she’s ready to be in a relationship. But not just any relationship…

“I’m ready to be your long-term, distance, low-commitment, casual girlfriend? If you’d still have me?” she says, in a shaky voice.

“I don’t know, I might have to think about that,” Ken replies.

If you’re eyes widened or turned to look at your girlfriends during this scene of the Barbie movie, this diary entry is for you.

I know one too many women who are in this position. What even is a long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend? Let’s break it down.

According to Amanda Godinez’s article “Hi, Barbie! Are You a Low Commitment Girlfriend?, “a long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend is a girl who receives nothing in exchange for committing themselves to this type of relationship.” He receives almost all the emotional benefits of a girlfriend such as the daily good morning and night texts, check-ins, and support, without any of the exclusivity and actually committing to one woman. Chivalry isn’t dead, y’all!

The phenomena of this single scene of the movie is astonishing and aching. Ask almost any of your girlfriends and I promise you they have experienced this. And what’s interesting is that it’s all for different reasons. Either it was timing on both ends, bad communication, one side leading the other on, manipulation, etcetera etcetera. 

Now I must ask…

• Is he texting you every other week or even two weeks?

• Does he only contact you when HE wants to/when it’s convenient for him?

• Has he ever said something kind of… odd to you while he was drunk?

• Has he expressed that he has other partners who are filling his physical needs because the two of you are low-commitment?

• Do you find yourself wanting to fix him?

Barbie, you are the long-term, long-distance, low-commitment, casual girlfriend.

After a street run-in between Anya and a certain person, she expressed, “Men are like babies – they lack object permanence and only remember you when you’re right in front of them.”

Then Esli replied, “Men will marry a girl who is in front of them when they are finally ready to marry or in that mindset.” Snaps all around, ladies! Cue the street montage and music because we got ourselves the Gen Z cast of Sex and the City over here. I call dibs on being Charlotte.

Thank you, Esli & Miranda!

To the girls reading this who even have the SLIGHTEST gut feeling that this is what you’re experiencing, I'm SHAKING YOUR SHOULDERS RIGHT NOW. The temporary security may feel nice, but read this sentence again. It’s temporary. What people don’t talk about enough is how draining being a long-term distance low-commitment casual girlfriend is until you reach your breaking point. When you see how much emotional energy you put in for three, to eight, or even a year, into planning calls, sending texts, and coordinating with their schedule. When they didn’t even take any of that into account the whole time.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Oh that can’t be me, my guy is nice but we just haven’t established anything yet because-” BECAUSE WHAT? Christina Harris sums up why you shouldn’t string along the nice guy in this video. You can still be the low-commitment girlfriend literally because you don’t even realize you don’t even like them that much.

It is just so tiring and upsetting seeing my girlfriends be in these hanging-by-a-thread relationships (even if they aren’t “official”) with men who simply do not deserve them. Most of them are some of the worst or downright annoying men I’ve ever met. And trust me, I’m the honest friend in my friend groups, so imagine the girls that don’t have someone on their shoulders telling them a guy is suspicious. Think about this, would you even be friends with the guy you’re in this low-committal relationship with? If he can’t even commit to being a good friend, how is he going to step up? I just don’t want my educated girlfriends to waste their time on energy on a man who can’t tell the difference between Lowe’s and Loewe. 

The rundown: Men are stupid. You should probably stop seeing him or block him. You’re cute, smart, successful, and deserve someone who will match!

Thanks for reading 💌

I believe all of us Barbies should unionize to end the long-term, distance, low-commitment girlfriend trope from happening to any other woman ever.

Have you been through this? If you have any reflections from this diary entry, let me know in this comment box!

Bye, Barbie!

- Viv ❀

Share this diary entry with your friend(s) currently in this situation, we need to save her!!!!!!

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Related:

Hi, Barbie! Are You a Low Commitment Girlfriend? by Amanda Godinez (MSN)

‘Barbie’ unlocked a new phrase to describe the relatable absurdity of dating by Michelle Jaworksi (Daily Dot)

Situationships 101: Dating The Emotionally Unavailable + How To Move On - PRETTY BASIC